Tiny Thoughts

She was the girlfriend of one of the many alcoholic guitarists I played with over the years. Guitarists, like house painters and masons, tend to drink, but so do drummers, and bassists, and carpenters, attorneys, physicians, brokers, and mothers.

At an early age she developed a chronic and deep cough. Something much more suited for a poor Russian village peasant in late 19th century. She was once thrown out of her second grade class for coughing too loud. As a teen, she took up smoking, which only further complicated the life long condition.

The guitarist was quite intelligent, attending a prestigious university. His father was a renowned psychologist. Notwithstanding the incredibly large consumptions of alcohol on his part every evening, he managed to perform adequately in his schooling. They would drink themselves into oblivion each night.

Unfortunately, I was drawn into this ritual on a few different occasions. Once on my birthday, she started kissing and grabbing me. The cigarette and alcohol diet for a young woman didn't leave her unattractive. But aside from her being the girlfriend of the guitarist (he was pretty good, not worth breaking up the band over), when she was drunk, any physical attraction I may have had was soon lost.

We were playing a gig and I was with her around a corner from everyone else in the band. I kept pushing her away, and she kept trying to kiss me. "It's your birthday." During one of these exchanges, the guitarist happened around the corner.

"Get off my girlfriend."

"Dude, I am not doing anything."

He lunged at me with a drunken fist which was too slow to connect. He tried wrestling me, but I redirected him and he fell to the ground. I walked back to the rest of the band, and had my singer friend back on me on the whole birthday story.

When school was out, they invited me to their office campus party. I drank one for every three of theirs. The gin tasted like drinking paint thinner.

A few months later back in my home, they showed up a party. This time she was all over my singer friend. Thankfully, she had honed her skills and was able to avoid detection.